Oh forgiving heart

I get upset easily. 

I have a certain standard by which I strive to live, 

and I expect my little circle in life to follow the same rules. 

The most important, though, and the one that means the 

very most to me is:

Do NOT LIE!

Not to me, not about me, not around me. 

Nothing gets under my skin more than a lie.

Of any variety.

Don't say you didn't do something you DID do.

Don't say that someone else said something they DIDN'T say.

Don't tell me you're going to do something you don't plan 

to follow through with. 

The reason I chose this for today's Willing Wednesday

is because I've had Chris August's "Seven Times Seventy" 

song stuck in my head. 

As is usual in life, there are always those at any given 

time who are on your "forgive me" list. 

Even if they don't know it, or don't think they 

should be on it. 

I've had friends and family members who I do things

with/for and my husband always asks: 

"Why do you go out of your way for them when all they do is hurt you?"

I guess the lyrics to this song really explain it best:

I’ve been living in this house here
Since the day that I was born
These walls have seen me happy
But most of all they’ve seen me torn
They’ve heard the screaming matches
That made a family fall apart
They’ve had a front row seat
To the breaking of my heart

7 times 70 times
I’ll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way
7 times 70 times
There’s healing in the air tonight
I’m reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around

I remember running down the hallway
Playing hide-and-seek
I didn’t know that I was searching
For someone to notice me
I felt alone and undiscovered
And old enough to understand
Just when I’m s’posed to be learning to love you
Let me doubt again

7 times 70 times
I’ll do what it takes to make it right
I thought the pain was here to stay
But forgiveness made a way
7 times 70 times
There’s healing in the air tonight
I’m reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around

I lost count of the ways you let me down
But no matter how many times you weren’t around
I’m all right now

God picked up my heart and helped me through
And shined a light on the one thing left to do
And that’s forgive you
I forgive you

7 times 70 times
There’s healing in this house tonight
I’m reaching up to pull it down
Gonna wrap it all around
Yeah
I’m gonna wrap it all around

I don't want anyone to think that I am explicitly talking about 

the infamous "Haynes 6". While it applies to some things

I am most certainly not saying that this song word for 

word represents how I feel. 

And I'm not struggling to forgive any of "the 6".

I am however, actually facing the same situation again. 

Saying I'm done, or that I'm not going to do something,

and then forgiveness kicks in and I find myself doing 

exactly what I said I wouldn't do again. I find myself 

vulnerable just like I was the last time. 

I am reading a proverb (or a few chapters) a day, and while I seriously 

can't find the one I'm thinking of (I'll come back and add it), I read one that said

something like:

Someone who is slow to speak gains wisdom, 

but those who speak in haste are seen as foolish. 

I have to wrap my brain around this when it comes to forgiveness. 

I know I'm going to let go of my anger, but in the moment I 

want to protect myself forever from the same 

people who continue to hurt me, 

From a Willing Heart,

Courtney