Thursday, June 2, 2011

Pouring out what's "On My Heart" - Real ABCs

 Sorry for being on a bit of a break from the blog.
My little man is sick this week, and 1 visit to the ER later,
we're just spending a lot of time cuddling and getting well.
So a little early, but here is my Friday post:

I did a post a few weeks ago about the ABC's of Me.
While everything I wrote was factual, it didn't 
really sit well with me. It felt formal. 
Who cares what size my bed is, 
or what my first pet's name was? 

There is a LOT more to me that those things. 
I'm really this girl:

No photos. You'll see why...
I'm working on it.

I'm incredibly insecure. 
Yes. I have a blog and I share some deep stuff.
P.s. I'm sitting behind my laptop.
I'm in control of my camera. 
You only see shots of me where my nose doesn't look too, well like my nose. 
You only see me on days were I like my clothes. 
Most days I'm in sweats. I have 2 small kids ppl. Lets be real.

I am fantastic at sharing emotion. If it's possible to be "too honest"
then I've got that covered. 
What you might not know is I have always 
been completely down on my looks.
Specifically, my nose. 
Would you believe people have said that they don't like me because of my nose?!!
What does a nose have to do with my personality?
I also don't favor my teeth. They are just outright not good teeth.
I actually had a part of my tooth fall off while preggers with A. 
I want them to be all brand new teeth, but I'm a nervous 
wreck that I won't like them. Same with my nose.
(I can't afford either, and I'm trying to not care so much)
I'm flat chested. 
Most days I don't care, but some days I want to be SURE
that my husband isn't disappointed by that.
I'm super slim, but not toned. 
I hate that because people think I'm this super healthy 
chick and I'M NOT! I eat junk ALL THE TIME!

I was never happy single. 
I had NO clue how to be who I wanted to be. 
I always wanted a husband and a family. 
I don't feel like I've missed out on a single thing during my 20s 
because of marriage and kids.

I met my husband on the internet!
Yup. He is a pilot, and I was a flight attendant.
But, we didn't know one another. 
GASP! I know. But this year is our 5yr anniversary.
We had both dated and didn't want to search for people in the typical dating scene anymore.
We both wanted to get married and start a family ASAP. 
We did. We're happy!

We will probably have more kids. 
Be fine with or be shocked, but unless your God you can't control it. Sorry.
but not really sorry at all. 
My kids are the most precious blessing of my life,
and just one more way that God reminds me that he made me on purpose
and he loves me enough to fill the holes in my heart.

When I'm down I have a handful of people that I know will pick me up. 
I'm thankful for that more than anybody knows.
In elementary school there was a club of girls called:
"The I hate Courtney Club". 
No idea why they hated me. We were nine.
But, God has given me friends who are thicker than 
the thickest family and I'm so thankful for that. 

Three blog friends of mine 
have been a huge inspiration. 
They have shown me that I have my own story.
To share, to write, to let God dictate.

Their buttons are to the right of this post:
Storing Up Treasures
Casey Wiegand
Little Ms Momma. 

Thanks for letting me share the real parts of 


Linking up with Casey


  1. Amen girl! We all have our own story and it's so freeing to share it and embrace it. Keep on Keepin on ;)

  2. Love your ability to reflect such honesty. Expressing our insecurities is so freeing. I think I could benefit from that. : )

  3. It is always easier "behind the computer", may your strength there, resonate to every aspect of your life. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

  4. Thank you so much ladies! I really appreciate the encouragement!

  5. I love your honesty. It's inspiring. Thanks for the post!!!