Saturday, March 12, 2011

I "was" willing. How far can one woman be pushed?

I was willing. I was willing right up until my daughter began to cry only an hour after I had fallen asleep. I needed Brad. Luckily for all parties involved he was much more willing that Mommy. All it took was a pacifier, but I was almost drugged feeling having just dozed off. Not the perfect way to start off my selfless giving. My darling girl woke again at two. I got up, but I think it took me a minute or two to find my willing gracious heart. She needed Tylenol for her impending tooth. Number three is on its way, and it is having its way with our household during sleeping hours. At five I was so pleasantly surprised to have gotten three hours of sleep that I nearly jumped out of bed to go and feed her. "Willing" is my middle - no FIRST name when I've had sleep! She was right back to sleep UNTIL 6 when of course the nasty tooth monster invaded her beautiful rest. More tylenol and she was off in dream land until 8:15 when she woke happily. Will work harder on myself during the nighttime hours. I will pray that I can willingly wake when needed with a gracious and thankful heart. I will repeat that prayer until I get it, or until we sleep through the night. Any bets on which comes first???

I was on a roll with my language. Soft sweet voice. Careful about my words. That is until my loving husband decided to blow up our bathroom RIGHT when I had just entered the shower. Nothing like a steamy hot STINKY bathroom peppered with Fabreeze to help me feel clean and refreshed after my shower. *Four letter word slip* oops. It wasn't in anger, but rather in a teasing way. The "S" word, which was likely most everyone's first curse word aside from H.E. double hockey sticks! lol! (I have not said that since I was 8 or so. The "hockey sticks" part. I say the real word too often cause I'm bad so watch out!!) NOT a good start on that front. Will work harder. Will focus on watching my mouth! I think the biggest struggle is the willingly part. I could totally deprive myself of that habit. I don't dare utter a nasty word in front of my grandmother. I can focus on making it a priority and not because I have to, but because I want to eliminate it. It doesn't help me any and certainly doesn't make me sound educated.

This brings me to the dishes. It started out rocky. I had my heaping bowl of captain crunch and set it on the counter, but within a few minutes I noticed it. I beat Brad to cleaning it up so success was mine! Still a bit late though, and he really prefers I do it when I'm finished with the bowl. I made up for that the rest of the day. I even cleaned for him as he went while he was making our delicious buttery garlic turkey burgers for dinner! Excellent finish on that effort today if I do say so myself. I did clean willingly most of the day, except during one part when I had asked Brad to start dinner. I was cleaning and he was on his computer. At that moment my heart wasn't in it, but I recovered.

Let me just be clear that this Blog is not to toot my own horn on my successes. I needed a way to hold myself accountable. So far its working.

Lastly I read and article that helped me with my "kind words, soft voice, calm attitude" towards Abram situation. Here is the link:

In this article the writer poses two questions. 1. When are you and your children happiest together? 2. When are you most unhappy or stressed? Don't quote my wording. I discovered that for us we are happiest during family play time, and most stressed when trying to get dressed to leave and when trying to get ready for bed. I plan on taking a deeper look at why those times are so difficult and prepare all of us better for them in an effort to reduce the stress.

"They" say it takes 21 times to makes something a habbit. Well in 20 days I hope I can title a post "I AM Willing" the majority of the time. Right now I teeter between was, am, and will be.

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