Saturday, May 14, 2011

Where was my "mommy-tuition"?

This was the day my intuition started to grow.
On this day it grew in leaps and bounds.
Full on emotional involvement in the ins and outs of this little person's life. Mommy Intuition had arrived.
Where in the WORLD was it today?

I knew better than to go. 

Where was my verse?
I'm strongly in place about doing things that are uncomfortable from the start. If my mommy intuition goes off, I'll run with my kids on the other direction. They're still babies, after all. 
I did it anyway though.
We went to the bounce house today.
It is NOT my favorite place. 
I like to go play in places where I can see my kids
pretty much at all times. 
I don't like a lot of "older" kids playing around my littles
for safety reasons. Biggers are just rougher and that 
is fine, but not for a 1 or 3yr old.
Last time we bounced my son got hurt. 
Pure accident, but hurt none the less. 
He wouldn't put weight on his knee for a week. 

Yesterday I knew I didn't want to go. 
"Why did you mention that place? Is that the ONLY indoor play place you can think of?", I thought to myself as we talked on the phone. Why on earth did I mention the bounce house?

I have a membership to the Zoo and they were having a fun event. 
It was a FREE day for the kids and I. 
It was supposed to rain on and off all day. 
We haven't had a drop of rain at my house so far, BUT 
nonetheless we decided not to venture out there 
on the chance that we might get drenched. 
Now I wish we had gone. Really. 
When we arrived I knew I didn't want to go in. 
It would cost money too which I wasn't fond of given that we had a free activity across town. 
I go to pay and realize I don't even have my wallet. Coincidence? Probably not. I had no business going there. 

Cars EVERYWHERE. 
ONE room. 
I went to one in Texas that I LOVED with my friends
Amy and Beth. Separate rooms. Some rooms for littles.
Some rooms for bigger kids. 
Laid out in a way that there was only 1 way in and 1 way out. 
SAFE. 
Not today. I knew yesterday that it wasn't going to go well, but
I hate leaving something on a bad note so I thought
for Abram's sake specifically we would bounce once more. 
I knew again when we got there. "Not for us", I thought to myself. 
I had made plans though and while I usually 
don't mind to bail because my plan- attempting God's plan
for my kids is always first and I have no problem
telling someone:
"I am doing a great work and I cannot come down"
Nehemiah 6:3
If we've had obedience or listening problems we'll stay home.
If we just need play time with mommy and daddy we'll stay home.
If we're tired and I know we can't behave tired, we'll stay home.
I try to avoid places and things that will tempt my 
small children to get into trouble. 
Especially when my husband is gone, I try to avoid going
somewhere that will entice my older child to run off from me 
while I'm caught up wrangling the baby.
 I couldn't bail today though. I wouldn't. "I won't let myself be a letdown", I thought. 
Though now I'm thinking "letdown to who?".
It's a real live friendship. I can say no, or feel no, or change my mind and be my quirky self. It's been 4 years or more. I am who I am right? 
We did go in. It was insanity. A was instantly frustrated because 
I couldn't stand at the baby area with E and still watch him in his
"age appropriate" (joke) area. They had 2 and under in one blow up. 
I get that. The next part is fishy. 7 and under? Really? 7yr olds
should be playing in a rough rowdy setting
with 3yr olds. A's friend isn't even 3 yet and while the 
size of the inflatable was appropriate, the older kids
shoving her down just as she figured out the climbing wall part
was not appropriate at all. 
A wanted so badly to run all around like 
all of the other older kids who's parents weren't watching them. 
When he did though, he realized he couldn't see me
and would start searching and whimpering. 
Three times that happened before he realized
it wasn't THAT exciting of a place. 
He started playing with his little friend though
and her Daddy joined in on the fun. 
"Okay it's been 30 minutes and we are fine....45 minutes now."

And.... cut to my little Evie falling out of the 2 and under 
inflatable FLAT on her nose. 
Blood EVERYWHERE. 

We left.

The point is though, that I have been entrusted 
with two very small very perfect people. 
I've been given a gift of conviction often called
"mommy intuition" that will sneak up in my head
when something isn't right for my child. It comes around when
they are sick, and when they just need love. 

Today I didn't listen to it. 
Today I knew better.
The bloody nose is my fault. 
The stressed out me is my fault too.

I will write the verse in Nehemiah
on my heart and in my mind and remeber
that my mommy-tuition is most always right. 

Make sure you don't forget yours.

xoxo
Courtney


1 comment:

  1. Bless it!!! I've been in this boat time and time again...... I sometimes try to ignore my intuition because my mind thinks "oh let her have fun"

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